Mom is the word of the day this week.

What,with the Hallmark holiday on the horizon.

My mom passed and this will be my second mom's day with out her. Last year I spent it with my daughter and her new daughter, Juniper.

This year I will spend it with my dear friend, Carrie and then later, dinner with my son.

I am having flowers delivered to my daughter. She will not see me.

I am amazingly ok with all of this.

Some kind of peace is within me that I have never known before.

I like how I have lived my life, met my challenges, raised my kids, been there for my mom.

I find no fault in how I handled these jobs, relationships, responsibilities.

I love each person in my life for who they are or what they tried to be.

I respect them, each and all.

People bare a bunch of anger towards moms in their life. I did at one time.

I realized very early that this was not healthy for me.

I forgave my mom first.

She never asked for my forgiveness, nor did she think I needed to forgive her.

Later I learned to accept who she is and rarely took personally the many ways she mistreated me.

I also began to see that she was loving me in the very best way she could, certainly not in ways that I would love.

I learned to just be cool with all of that.

My mom is with me in my heart at every moment. When she first passed away, I really missed talking to her. We talked every day. So I would pretend to call her on my cell phone and have conversations about this and that with her.

Now, the missing daughter is another story. She has been pissed off at me for many many many years. I accept her anger. I apologize for my betrayal of her trust (that is the only way I can explain what occurred between us). I accept that I cannot be the mom she demands of me.

I am not giving up, I realize that for us to have any kind of healthy relationship, I cannot allow her to lord over me. She is a tough cookie. She has cut me out of her life, but I have not cut her out of mine.

I love her, her daughter, her boyfriend every single moment of every single day. Not allowing me to love her and her family hurts her far more than it hurts me. I have not stopped loving them.

So, being a mom, having a mom, raising a mom. Tough. Real. No regrets.

Happy Mom's day to my mom friends. We know what a hard road this has been to hoe.

It makes  it hard to not have photos on my blog. This new editing thing here along with my many many iphone photos makes it hard for me to post pictures.

In the news: My friend Celeste and her daughter have moved in here for the summer.

This is working out well so far.

We went on a Mexican Cruise on Carnival about a month ago. We brought a couple of pals along. We had a blast. So many stories to tell and not ever tell!

We stopped at Catalina Island and Ensanada. I really want to go back to Catalina Island.

I took the girls to Dr. Wilkenson's mud spa in Calistoga a couple of weeks ago. That was relaxing.

I spent a couple of days at Pt. Reyes a couple of weekends ago.

Finally, have work being done to my mom's place. I think it will be on the market by the end of May if not sooner.

Friends of mine that I knew back in the eighties have re-connected with me on facebook. They were in a punk/rock band in the day known as The Sheets. The band reformed recently and have been recording music for a cd. In the mean time, they asked me to manage them.

So, we are seeing how that goes. They are all super nice and it is great to be back in contact with them.

I need to get busy and start studying for my Real Estate License. It kind of got put on the back burner with all my travels and getting mom's place in order. I give myself til the end of the year to get the certifications complete.

My daughter is not talking to me or letting me see my grand daughter. This started last November. Juniper turned one yesterday. I am sad about that. Sad to not see my daughter and her family. Sad that Jocelyn is such a hard ass about things. That is about all I can say about that.

My son is doing great. He has a cool job, lots of music stuff going on and a terrific girlfriend. He is happy. And that makes me happy.

Esme, the cat, is fine. Bill, the bird, is fine.

I am doing mortgage stuff part time and cleaning part time.

All is good in the hood.

Hi xanga pals. How are you doing?

I should just cut and paste my facebook status over here to keep you all in my life, huh?

I don't mean to forsake you, xanga land, I am very busy with this and that going on.

I am very very excited about a cruise to Mexico that some friends and I are taking at the end of March for four days.

Also, a road trip via Route 66 to the Grand Canyon with more friends is in the planning stages set in mid April for an entire week in a rented RV.

If you are looking for trouble, look no further!

Had a mini getaway to the coast last weekend. Three days at Point Reyes. I love that destination. Easy peasy and always a blast.

I think I may actually be dating someone. Maybe. Possibly.

Been hanging out with my terrific girlfriends and their kids.

Have also been walking regularly with said girlfriends. And laughter, lots of that.

Met another wonderful internet but now real life friend!

Got my brother out of my mom's place.

Work begins soon so that I can get it on the market.

I wanted to post pictures but I am running into some technical difficulties.

Dang...they are actually the best part...

Be sassy and quenched, my xanga neighbors.

V Day xanga peeps!

Linus and the True Meaning of Christmas

Charlie Brown: “Isn’t there ANYONE who knows what Christmas is all about?!?!

Linus: “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.’ ” (Luke 2:8-14)

“You see, Charlie Brown—that’s what Christmas is all about.”

To hear Linus’ monologue, go here.

In 1965, Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz was asked to create a Christmas special for CBS. When it was time to review the script, CBS executives and producers said it was “way too religious for a secular audience.” The brass advised cutting Linus’ monologue from Luke 2 and other biblical/Christian references, but Schulz insisted that they stay in. The brass said the characters should be voiced by adult actors, but Schulz insisted on actual children. The brass wanted to add a laugh track, but Schulz insisted on a simple combination of piano music and silence behind the voices. The brass eventually acquiesced and agreed to air the special as Schulz had conceived it, but CBS braced for a flop and prepared to write off their losses. What happened? America embraced A Charlie Brown Christmas. It struck a chord in the heart and soul of the nation. It was a smashing success, leading to four additional Peanuts specials and becoming an indispensable part of the Christmas season for millions of people worldwide. Sometimes you have to fight for your principles.

May you join Linus in beholding and rejoicing in the true meaning of Christmas as you celebrate the holiday season!