Month: May 2013

  • Home Show Expos EXPOSED

     

     

     I just got home from a weekend in Truckee (located in the mountains of northern CA near Nevada) for work.
     
    Lola and I were there for a home show. We stayed Fri and Sat nights. Leaving Sunday afternoon. Avoiding that whole end of a three day weekend going home traffic by leaving a day early.Thankfully Monday is still a holiday for me and Lola ;)
     
     
    Traffic was unexpectedly light heading up the hill at 5pm on a Friday before a three day weekend.
    Thank you Dashboard Jesus.
     
     
    The sky was crazy with full moon eclipse clouds!
     

    It has been warm to muggy in Davis so the cool and brisk temps up there are a nice change.
     


    They had hot tubs the size of Noah’s Ark!
     
    This looked to be a huge home show event in Truckee. The venue is at a good sized high school. It had three large gyms. Vendors setting up complex home repair and remodeling booths. Even most of the outside parking area was filled with sprawling home idea structures.
     
    I stayed in a nice and comfortable private bedroom at a home situated on a ridge with panoramic views of the river up in a roomy neighborhood off the highway just leaving downtown Truckee. I think they must have at least an acre with apple trees and an abundant organic vegetable garden set up in an enclosed green house (this town gets the most snow and coldest temps in California). They had two dogs, two cats and a coop full of chickens that Lola was amazed and freaked out by – she is so not a country gal!)
     
     
     
    Sitting here with the sound of the rushing river and the full moon above was magical


    What I loved the most was a mini meditational fire pit amphitheater with incredible views of snow dusted mountains and a full moon that was going on this weekend. Lola loved hopping up the steps and overlooking the world.
     
    None of her speeches were about Obedience…
     
    Lola, as usual, was a hit. In her blingy gold service dog vest and an expo name tag. The tag labeled her a Speaker at the Health expo.
     
     
    This is not Chef Gary but that would be his cook ware (his booth was much nicer with rock star lighting)
     
    My booth is next to the cooking demo venue. The vendor, Chef Gary, is the consummate sales guy. He kept our corner of the venue busy, offered up free samples of his recipes. He found me a cup of coffee when I could not find the exhibitors lounge the first morning.
     
    Lo and I were DONE at 5pm on Saturday, so done we went back to the place we were staying and crashed for a forty minute nap. Just to gain back some wherewithal to go out to dinner.
     
    I asked the people I was renting the room from for a recommendation for dinner.
    Polly told me about an Italian spot in downtown Truckee. She said to sit at the bar – it was a very social scene and the food was great. She was spot on!

     
     
     A cruddy picture I found of the actual bar at Pianeta’s
     
    The place was hopping when I arrived. The hostess seated me at the crammed bar. I had to squeeeeze in between loud and ignoring parties. This made me kind of grumpy – balancing my purse on my lap and trying not to be nudged by my noisy bar neighbors on either side of me.
     
    I ordered a beer and began to eye the menu that I could barely open due to lack of space. Checking out the plates next to me and meals being brought out, everything looked wonderful. The place was loud and the bartender kept checking to see if I was ready to order.
     
    He was cute but I found his interrogations (Are you ready to order? Can I get you another beer? How is everything?) annoying…until I was half way through my beer. Suddenly I was invited into three different conversations and I found our barkeep caring and attentive ;)
     
    Everyone had a favorite dish, an opinion, a wine to try. I overheard gossip and life stories unraveling.
    I finished my beer, had another and got around to ordering dinner. (Chicken Marsala which was excellent!)
     
    A couple at the bar also had a booth at the home show. We did a little vendor shop talk. But mostly we drank and laughed.
    Advice was given, tears were shed (not by or because of me!), hugs and phone numbers exchanged upon departure.
    Greatest annoyed to fabulous dinner experience ever.
     
     
    These two were ready to alpaca and go home! (that is my own llame joke ;)
     
    I heard the lamest (llama-est?) jokes on the planet. Three times a day for two days straight. Always delivered with a fresh twist. That crazy Chef Gary – I am sure he had the most successful booth at this expo. And he was selling high priced cook ware. Hell, if I could afford that cook ware I would have bought some!
     
    I also loved my appliance department store vendor neighbor, Tracey. She was probably an early twenties, if that, young lady. Bright and a very good speller (catching mistakes on my hand made signs!). She and I had all of Chef Gary’s lame jokes memorized by Sunday at 5pm.
     
    She tried to friend Lola the whole time at the expo and Lo would have none of that. What is up with my fickle little scamp?

     

     
    Bunches of cool stuff to look at – this guy was drilling stone sculptures
     
    Because the event was so poorly attended, us vendor folk mingled and chatted and swapped info, cards and samples. I did my shopping on Sunday. By this time we were all pals. Deals and home show friends were made. A guy at a portrait photo booth must have taken eighty pictures of me. What is up with that? I am not one to ask for copies…Even as proof that I WAS working all weekend! ;) But he should have shown me how they turned out!
     
     
     
    A cool hanging lamp I saw at a restaurant in Guerneville months ago
     
    I bought a lamp like this only different (It’s blue and oval shaped) – the guy gave me a crazy deal (another new pal!). It is going over my bambooze cart. Another booth was giving away free boxes of energy efficient light bulbs and water efficient spray nozzles for an outside hose. I’ll take two please! And of course the pre-requisite gourmet olive oils and balsamic vinegars (cinnamon pear!).
     
    Plus I will be healthier about eating after listening to Chef Gary’s excellent nutritional and cooking advice the past two days. Not to mention my all those lame jokes to tell my friends!
     
     
     
    I bought an inflatable pool to put in the back yard so Lola and I can sit poolside on the sizzling days ahead of us!
     
    Lola and I are thrilled to be home sweet home. I have laundry and a couple of projects to work on. My landlord and his daughter are here to do a major overhaul on the duplex next door. The previous tenants trashed the place. I have been helping with that. 
     
    Happy Memorial weekend. Lets remember those who served and enjoy the day how ever you spend it.

  • Sad Songs and Baseball

    We had music in the house all the time while I was growing up.

    My mom was a song writer and was always strumming out a new song or singing a favorite country song. 

    I think I got that gene of playing a favorite song over and over and over again from her. Do you do that? (I did not get the guitar playing or song writing gene)

    Listening to the strum of a guitar is really soothing to me.

    My mom use to play guitar and sing sad sad songs to my brothers and I.

    I remember sitting on her bed when she would sing these songs and me crying my eyes out. 

    We had this record!

    Songs like Old Shep, Red Headed Stranger and El Paso. Somebody always died in these songs. I will still cry if I hear them. 

    Both my kids are musicians and I love when they would play and work on music at my house. 

    My son still comes over and mixes stuff he has already recorded. I love listening to all of it.

    I don’t think my kids sing or write about people dying but they do write some interesting lyrics about growing up in our weird dysfunctional and sometimes abusive family. (I had a very physically, verbally and emotionally abusive husband for a time when the kids were growing up)
     

    Her sister Liz did well in Nashville

    My mom and two of her sisters were song writers and all very good singers.

     

     
    Stingers were the favorite at that time
     
    I remember my mom and her sister, Donna, sitting up late working on songs and drinking. Funny how the harmonies got worse and worse as the night wore on. I think about that and it really is cute memory. I use to try to sit up late to listen to them sing and gossip…I found a way to be useful by learning to mix their favorite drinks ;) But eventually mom would shoo me to bed.

    Something else I find soothing is the sound of a baseball game.

    As important as music was to my mom, my dad always had a game going on his radio at his radiator shop or on the tv at home. He was a San Francisco Giants fan. My dad died when I was twelve, we never went to a baseball game together. He grew up in San Francisco. I do not know if he ever went to game at Candle Stick.

    I never get bored with the sound of a baseball game in progress.

    I was fortunate enough to live in San Francisco in my early twenties. I went to games at Candle Stick and have been to games at the new park (ATT Park, I think they call it) – that new park is a really nice park.

    Candle Stick Park

    I was all grumpy when they planned on replacing Candle Stick. I went to many night games there, back when beers were as big as your head and they still served after the seventh inning! Nothing better then garbage being tossed up by 45mph winds gusts twirling over the outfield during the game. Why I thought this was the BEST BALL PARK IN ALL THE LAND is beyond me. But I did. The memories are still the best!

    All those old memories set my heart at ease.  (that is from a Nina Simone song) 

    Thanks for letting me share, xanga pals. 

  • Happy Mothers Day

    Happy Mom’s day to my wonderful xanga mom pals. To all my wonderful mom pals in general.

    I am very blessed with very very true and loyal mom friends.

    My son called me yesterday to wish me happy Son Day. I love that young man.

    I was able to see my grand daughter last weekend. Her dad sent me a happy mom’s day text. Another pal sent me a happy co-mom text and yet another pal mentioned me as his adopted son in a mom’s day post. And happy mom’s day wishes from my fb pals. It warms me to the bottom of my heart.

    This whole thing with my daughter makes mom’s day unsettling for me.

    To be perfectly honest my kids rarely  remembered my birthday or mom’s day all the years of our lives. I have seen my daughter bend over backwards for other mom’s (boyfriends and friends moms) for their birthdays, Christmas or mom’s  days in years past. I mostly did not take it personally or let it hurt my feelings. Mostly.

    This feels more like what she does to me

    I make sure to not claim to know anything valuable about parenting. Or children. I feel like a fraud if I share my parenting experience. I feel tainted by my daughter’s lack of contact with me. The Scarlet AP (abusive parent). I do not know what I did to have her treat me this way except to make a single mistake. Almost three years ago. She has cut me out of her life many times in the past. I am honestly at a loss about this. We have gone to family counseling, she has gone to my private counseling appointments to speak her peace ( initially I wrote peeve by accident ;) only to have my counselor remind her to be present with her grocery list of grievances. I was in a very abusive marriage in which both of my kids were bullied. This got us into family counseling stat. I have addressed and apologized many many times. Their dad is no prize either. These things are about me not her. I understand this affects her. She is much stronger and sets very strict boundries. I am proud of her for that…Mom’s day spins me out a little. 

    Everything in my life is pretty damn good. Even David and I are still friends. I miss him, of course, and I am very happy with out him. We talk regularly. I know why we had what we had.

    On another note…I want a phone with a real ring. Damn it. Do they even make those anymore?

    I had this entire weekend to myself and I did accomplish some yard work. I hope to do more before the weekend is over. We shall see. My spare room is actually usable as a guest room. I want to rent it out but not all the time. I have to put that together. I will not turn this into a list of things to do. Promise…I have three of those going anyway. Ack.

    Habit…get it?

    I am kind of blathering but I guess I am getting back into the blog habit.

    Happy Sunday xanga crew.

    xo Cassi

     

  • So Glad to See You

    I realize that my last couple of blogs were lamenting my boyfriend moving on to some kind of pastures…I have to share that life is very good over here at Casa de Pepe.

    Sleep is good, work is busy, friends are caring.

    Pets and grand daughter are bossy.

    I get to see Juniper at least twice a month lately. I am grateful to her dad’s mom, Mary (Juniper’s all the time grandma). Mary has been generous and open hearted (that is the person she is). She gets that “one more person to love that little girl can only be a good thing”. Daniel, her daddy, knows this too. Thanks and love to those people for keeping me in the loop and able to watch my grand daughter evolve into this wonderful very funny AND bossy little lady.

    She pretends to not know me when she see’s me but she knows Lola. Immediately and by name. I will play that cute dog card as long as I need to!

    Lola would prefer not be “used” like this, she is really not a kid dog. The person that abused and injured in her previous life  (BC – before Cassi) was a child. I realize parents are responsible, but my little dog does not know this. But after visits and even a sleep over, she is becoming a little more patient with June’s attention.

    And June is learning to be more gentle, to quit tugging and all that stubborn focused attention that little kids are capable of.

    This recent visit with Juniper at her grandparents place was relaxing and fun. I stayed over. Had dinner, played and helped bathe Juniper. She is very fun and very energetic. Her grandparents dote on her. And handle her bossy ways so well. I was trying not to laugh out loud at her sassy bossy orders and their creative deflection of said sass. And June is one heck of a drama actress with the fake tantrum that turns to smiles when I looked at her in disbelief and asked if she was faking. I am cracking up as I type this. She kills me!

    She is incredibly polite. She is three years old and covers her mouth when she sneezes. What three year old does that? Yeah she is bossy little thing but not in a spoiled way. A “I know what I want” way. She asks for what she wants and declines what she deems unnecessary at that moment. A bunch of “No Thank You”s for bed time, teeth brushing and bath time.

    Anyhoo, once she was in bed, Mary and I had a little grown up lady time. Talking about our families; she has raised three boys. They have their own stuff they are dealing with as well as they can. I talked about David moving (Mary liked him and asked me, when I told her I was doing fine “But what about me and MY feelings?” ha ha ha).

    Talk got around to the mommy of our favorite little lady. Not gossipy just mom talk. 

    She asked if I have grieved this loss. I really thought about that. I do not think I have. I don’t know if I know how to do that. I am a kind of move on kind of girl. Something that I know Jocelyn never cared for in me. 

    This question and my internal dialogue hangs with me today. 

    How does one learn to grieve in a positive way? I have felt deep and terrible loss. Most of us have. Losing a parent,a friend too early. A divorce, a love or a beloved pet pal.

    I remember the deep sadness. The pain. That empty place in my heart that came with those losses. But healthy grieving? I am not sure I have done this ever.

    The loss of my daughter who is fine, healthy, and doing wonderfully living only fifty five miles away… Cutting me out of her life for over two years…the first included her daughter…I have felt shocked, sorry, sad, pissed and now just non-participatory. My heart is sad for strange small things. Like seeing her with her daughter. How they interact. I can only imagine how Jocelyn adores this little darling. This smart and busy little lady. And Jocelyn’s evolution into a woman, a mom. A working musician and all her other projects (which are many – my kids are very talented and very creative).

    Can this be a ticket into the healing of this rift? Getting past this defensive feeling I have inside. What is worse then that, I will not defend myself. I only joke. When introduced as Jocelyn’s mom, I shrug that off and say that I don’t think she would admit that. You may as well call me spawn of Satan. I make jokes. I am very clever like that. But not healthy for sure.

    I will meditate on this. Look for a book. If you can recommend something I will appreciate your ideas.

     I was up in Placerville this weekend for another home show. I stayed with family, ran into and looked up old friends from when I lived there. Ran into my ex husband with his new wife (which was a very nice interaction). I loved catching up with everyone. I tend to get along with everyone (except my daughter). I stayed the extra night to visit with Mary, John and Juniper. I had a wonderful time and visit even though I was up there for work.

    I came away feeling light and good. And blessed. Lola and I are happy to be home sweet home. My place is safe and comfortable. I love coming home. It feels less empty then I expected with David moving. Esme was pleased that we were back to fill her bowl and clean her litter box.

    Lo and I are relaxing in our backyard with my little fountain going. Playing good tunes, savoring a cold beer. I am tired and I will go to bed early. Work is going to be busy tomorrow.

    Happy Sunday xanga-crew. Life is good over here at Casa de Pepe.