May 12, 2013
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Happy Mothers Day
Happy Mom’s day to my wonderful xanga mom pals. To all my wonderful mom pals in general.
I am very blessed with very very true and loyal mom friends.
My son called me yesterday to wish me happy Son Day. I love that young man.
I was able to see my grand daughter last weekend. Her dad sent me a happy mom’s day text. Another pal sent me a happy co-mom text and yet another pal mentioned me as his adopted son in a mom’s day post. And happy mom’s day wishes from my fb pals. It warms me to the bottom of my heart.
This whole thing with my daughter makes mom’s day unsettling for me.
To be perfectly honest my kids rarely remembered my birthday or mom’s day all the years of our lives. I have seen my daughter bend over backwards for other mom’s (boyfriends and friends moms) for their birthdays, Christmas or mom’s days in years past. I mostly did not take it personally or let it hurt my feelings. Mostly.
This feels more like what she does to me
I make sure to not claim to know anything valuable about parenting. Or children. I feel like a fraud if I share my parenting experience. I feel tainted by my daughter’s lack of contact with me. The Scarlet AP (abusive parent). I do not know what I did to have her treat me this way except to make a single mistake. Almost three years ago. She has cut me out of her life many times in the past. I am honestly at a loss about this. We have gone to family counseling, she has gone to my private counseling appointments to speak her peace ( initially I wrote peeve by accident
only to have my counselor remind her to be present with her grocery list of grievances. I was in a very abusive marriage in which both of my kids were bullied. This got us into family counseling stat. I have addressed and apologized many many times. Their dad is no prize either. These things are about me not her. I understand this affects her. She is much stronger and sets very strict boundries. I am proud of her for that…Mom’s day spins me out a little. Everything in my life is pretty damn good. Even David and I are still friends. I miss him, of course, and I am very happy with out him. We talk regularly. I know why we had what we had.
On another note…I want a phone with a real ring. Damn it. Do they even make those anymore?
I had this entire weekend to myself and I did accomplish some yard work. I hope to do more before the weekend is over. We shall see. My spare room is actually usable as a guest room. I want to rent it out but not all the time. I have to put that together. I will not turn this into a list of things to do. Promise…I have three of those going anyway. Ack.
Habit…get it?
I am kind of blathering but I guess I am getting back into the blog habit.
Happy Sunday xanga crew.
xo Cassi
Comments (13)
Happy Mother’s day to you my sweetest of friends. I hope that your daughter will start to come around with you seeing Junebug. I wish that for you with all my might.
@alterEGGO - Listen beautiful K, I would rather place my energy in getting your dreams to come true. The things you wish for are far more attainable. I want to see you in your own car. A job you enjoy and no longer beholden to others. You are amazing. I love you and I know that all your wishes will come true. Your boys – through thick and thin – are amazing humans. You get all the credit xxoo Happy Mom’s Day beautiful lady.
Hi Hope you had a very nice day–very nice read here.
We have sort of a normal phone, but hardly anyone ever calls us on it.
I love time alone, but my wife does not like being alone or leaving me alone.
frank
Happy Mother’s Day.
I am going through a similar situation with my daughter who is now 17. She is very passive aggressive and her immediate brother older than she is 30 and he likes to cut me out of his own son’s life (age 8) because I don’t give him money when he is broke (often). He is now 30 and has never held a job more than a few months, if that. He has been evicted many times from apartments and turned down a house I offered him right on the bus line in north Richmond with a fenced back yard for his son. It required sweat equity. Offered a new roof and monthly payments of about $200. Turned his nose up. He said, “I was thinking about something around $200,00.” Yeah, right!
You keep going. Your daughter is mentally ill and a grudge holder. Sickening of her not to get help. You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink!
I won’t pretend to understand the pain of being shut out by a child, but it is a similar situation here with my oldest goddaughter. She has shut out her entire family (including siblings), myself, my siblings & my niece & nephew. Her mom says it is “brain washing” by her fiancee… she has completely cut off from her people and is now only associating with his. (I’ve seen this behavior before, quite honestly, right before relationships turned abusive…) It’s very disheartening to be shut out and not even know why you’ve been shut out. So… I get it. Not exactly in the same fashion, but I certainly empathize.
Happy Mother’s Day. I don’t talk to my mom, but that’s because she has a history of being abusive and continues to be that way to this day. I wish you could find some healing. And I hope she reconciles you sooner, rather than later.
kids are peculiar … glad you had a nice day anyway!
I have so many words going through my head.. and ya know.. all of them ‘really’ don’t dont take the pain away. But that phone!!! You MUST find one!!! xoxoox
Thanks so much for making me feel better about not having had kids
I wholeheartedly welcome you back to blathering blog. I think we all enjoy the continuing saga of your happy, sad, jumbled life. I know it makes me feel better about my own oddball existence. Tell your daughter I think she’s a numbskull for depriving her daughter of her grandma. What the heck did you do, put cigarettes out on her back; teach her ribald limericks; have her nipples pierced; buy her a rifle? C’mon, you can tell us. We forgive you even if that tattoo that says “I love grandma” is hard to remove.
@judyrutrider - I love you Judy. I am all teary with laughter. Yes, I swear it is the laughter. You precious dear.
I liked Judy ‘ s comment above Cassi .
Your son is kind and thoughtful ;and it is the same for Juniper ‘s dad . Be sure your daughter will come back to you . Indeed we cannot deny our mother.
I am glad my recent entry made you laugh. Laughing is a good med!!
Much love
Michel
Being the mother of three daughters I am as baffled as you are about the mystery of that relationship, and know exactly what you mean about telephone bells and habits. Too bad I have no pearls of wisdom to share.