Mom is out of the hospital. No sooner had they transferred her out of intensive care (Friday) then they scurried her out the door to a convalescent home up near her home in Placerville. She arrived this evening. I have been sick for the last three days. I was at the hospital all day today but did not travel up the hill to the new place this evening. I will be there tomorrow. We have already spoke and she seems to be comfortable and settled in for the evening. Honestly, I called some of the care givers before mom's arrival this evening, they sound personable and lovely.

Listening to her on the phone today with the rest of the family was something though. She is in complete denial of how very very sick she was. She cannot wait to get to her shit hole of a house to drink coffee and smoke cigarettes all day. I am trying to remain clear and unjudgemental at the moment. For what that is worth.

My son turned 22 on April 11th. He is kind of pissed off at me for the moment and we are having some seperate time. We will celebrate this week. I called and sang happy birthday to him. He is all moved out of this place although he will deny that he was moved back in here at all...aye but there is the rub...

My college assesement appointment is on Monday. I am excited about that. I did my taxes (I owe...) so that I could finish my Financial Aide submission (I qualify - what ever that means...). I had to cancel all my housekeeping jobs the last couple of weeks for all this hospital time. Ack...Who knows.

So....my xanga peeps! Thank you for your prayers, we felt them! Your kind words, I needed them. Your showing up and smiling, some days it was the only smile I felt. Thank you!

xxoo
Cassi

I am waking up with an upset stomach still, and a the beginnings of a sore throat. Dratted hospitals. I have been in one nearly daily for just over two weeks.

Mom is still in intensive care. The blood clot situation has continued and multiplied. As of yesterday morning, her internal bleeding had accelerated, even after being taken off the blood thinner she was on. The doctor was readying her for a procedure to insert an umbrella like filter in a vein to stop the blood clots from heading to her lungs, where they are.

That poor woman ate NOTHING all day due to the idea that she was to have a procedure that afternoon. Due to yet another blood transfusion (THREE UNITS OF BLOOD!) they were putting it off til the morning. The word came down (from on high?) after six pm that perhaps the procedure would be canceled. I am asking if they are going to feed her. My mom weighs at well under ninety pounds. The nurse on duty mentioned the sugar water drip and I had a bull dog daughter moment.

"Are you kidding me????? She weighs less than ninety pounds. You need to feed her right NOW!"

I have never been the kind of person that takes being told what to do very well. I absolutely can take advice, counsel, goals, update priorities, be brought up to speed and so forth. Some mealy mouth nurse with a Scottish accent in my face with a  "First of all, you must" and "you cannot"  after weeks straight at my moms bedside is not going to meet up with the kind and gentle Cassi. The sarcastic back of the bus Cassi shows up. That Cassi wants her mom fed now, fresh ice cubes at her bedside and a list of every medication he is about to give her. That Cassi does not take any mess.

I feel pretty punk today. All I want to do is spring clean and mow my back yard. It is good to want, right? While I am at it, I also want some zebra print clogs, a month in Paris and a new computer.

Happy Full Moon Thursday!

We were informed last night, after a CAT scan, that she has two blood clots in her lungs. Lower lobe, I believe. Probably caused from the surgery. For the past week they have been trying to stabilize her heart with three different medications and not one is working out. Her her heart rate shoots up to almost double usually when she is sleeping. They figure the blood clots are causing this.

The best action to take is blood thinners, not healthy, but they can help to break down the blood clot in many cases. Unfortunately for mom, she has some internal bleeding. The cause of this, we do not know, but kick ass blood thinners are out of the question. They would cause her to bleed to death.

Mom was the saddest I have seen her this evening. I came home sad too. My kids were both here and we got into a squabble. Kids have no perspective and I have no energy to do anything but to say "GO HOME NOW!"

It just made me feel so down. I called poor Debi about cleaning this week and bended her ear far too long. Oh the troubles I have seen....Thank you for listening Debi. Ack...

     

My daughter and I hung out downtown most of the day and she cooked dinner that eve

I went to Placerville this weekend to collect some important papers for mom, I took all of Saturday off. I am mostly not working but I am at the hospital. I know mom appreciates it tons.

That is Joc and my ex-husband,  P'ville local, Greggy

This is kind of funny.  A local restaurant that has been around for as long as I lived up the hill (that would just be years and years until recently) finally closed it's doors. In proper small town form they posted a letter of good by on their former front door that read:

Small town living. Fucking hilarious. That is why us hicks live so long. We laugh so hard. At ourselves mostly, I reckon...

                                                                                                                       
I have to say out loud how wonderful the hospital staff has been. We went to the Roseville Kaiser this time around. In the past she had gone to the Sacramento located Kaiser. This decision was very very good. I think we thought it might be easier for me to travel to. I knew I would be there for the duration. My work schedule is verrrrrry flexible at the moment...My nest egg is getting flea bitten and bare...

How do you spell Fibroolation? Is it Atrial with an L??

I have to ask a lot of questions to make sure I am aware of things that are going on with mom. The deal is, the broken hip got her there but the deal is mom is not taking care of herself at all. She had dangerously low mineral levels, a UTI, and there are huge heart issues that she is totally not on top of. She has this atrial fibrillation thing that is going on and has been going on for MONTHS and she has been treating the symptoms with ALEVE. Fucking A. Yes, another mind boggling medical term that actually means: This Old Woman is KILLING me.

The broken and repaired hip is doing fine and is really and truly the least of her worries. I suspect that in the next several month, these other treatments going untreated, would have had her in life risking seizures or a heart attack that she would not have survived. She even mentioned today that she could have had a heart attack and totally denied it, lying in bed saying it was an upset tummy or strained muscle from her crutch. At least she is cognizant of her insanity. Big Yay!



Her sister Liz called, she is about ninety. She just fell and broke her nose. She tripped over the cord to her oxygen tank. Yeah, I actually laughed out loud. Sorry, but I did.

Oh yeah, back to the main point...Roseville Kaiser is wonderful. The staff is really trying their best, I am actually greeted in the hallways by many of the people that work there. Once they get past my bull dog daughter examination question period, everyone has been so awesome and forthcoming with info. I do not pretend to know shit about shit, and they are patient in explaining to me the details and what this or that means. As I was leaving today I told her nurse of the day, Gail, thank you so much. I told her much better this Roseville Kaiser was to it's Sacramento sister, and she was so flippin' kind. I almost started to cry. This has been an emotional ride.

How many gallery minions does it take to drink as many shots as they keep buying us...???

The corner of Natsoulas Gallery and Ceramics Central, baby!

Ok...maybe in a little of a hairdresser way...

There that is. How has your week been? I hope it has been fabulous! You guys are all fabulous! I mean that in an entirely non hairdresser way. I swear.

"I do not know how I broke my hip, I fall all the time on pavement, this was on ONLY carpet" exact quote in ER.

I mentioned that my mom had fallen and broken her hip last Wednesday. She had hip surgery late late Thursday night. They repaired it with a pin. The surgery was successful but due to mom's health situation when she got to the hospital there have been many many and many complications. First just getting her healthy enough for surgery, which I still felt that they rushed. Followed by a blood transfusion late Saturday. Followed by a trip to the Intensive Care Unit on Monday night and it was discovered that she had pnemonia (I love pronouncing that PE-nonia). She has been there for the past two days. Where she still is tonight after a really really tough night.

Thank goodness I have eight hours to spend at the hospital. That is where I have been this week. Except, of course, Saturday. I knew I would have to be around to make sure she ate (that little bag of bones weighs barely ninety pounds), got a nicotine patch (for the staff more than anyone else) and to hear what the doctors REALLY said about what her course of recovery would be. Little did I know.

My mom is freaking me out but I heart her

Mom's heart rate was up to 177 which is nearly double what is normal

Her heart rate was like that for at least an hour before they got it to just lower a little. It jumped yet again but when I left at 9pm it had been a little high on the normal side for a half an hour. I cried and cried all the way home in the car but I feel that she will fine. She has atrial fibrullation. This is manageable with medication.



Did you practice breathing, did you take your nitroglycerin, shouldn't you quite smoking???

She has been having constricted chest and shoulder pain for the past two months. She has told us nothing. I am driving her and the hospital staff crazy with all my questions. I am writing stuff down. The thing is that when she eventually gets home I want to know what exactly is going on with her. This would be so entirely new that perhaps I can help her to at least know what should be the healthier route, by way of my gentle nagging and checking in.

She knows what the future holds. Me with a schedule and checklist for her. Not pretty, I tell you.

So, this morning I got myself a deluxe pedicure. Yeah, I did. Thank goodness. My toes LOOK GOOD! And I have been on them all day and a fine portion of the evening. Coffee with my girlfriends and a little self indulgence has saved my sanity.

Dog! Enough about ME! Ack!
How was your April Fools HUMP Day?

     

Stopping for gas, the map of Amador and the coolest Rasta Poodle dude in a parked car when we stopped to get sandwiches

Meanwhile, Saturday. A mini road trip to Fiddletown in Amador County for the Fiddletown Fifth Annual Heritage Day. A friend that I have not hung with for awhile thought it might turn out to be a great escape for the weekend. After days and days at the hospital with mom and the interview deal, I could not have agreed more!!!

Fiddletown, not just a clever name!

It was a pretty low key relaxed crowd. I would say mostly local yokels and the retired cruising set.

So, Royce and I headed back to civilization. We made a big dinner and fell asleep without eating a bite of it. Perfecto.

St. Patrick's night was a blast. My mom does make the best corned beef and cabbage of anyone I know. Her cabbage is really the finest in all the land. She fries it up with bacon. Awesome. Once you have tried this you will NEVER eat boiled cabbage again. Healthy? What? You drink beer for the nutrients. PLEASE!

St. Pat's 2007 Same Kids, Same Couch, Same corned beef and cabbage

Both my kids, Joc's beau Daniel and family pals, Erik and Brianna joined forces with my mom and my brother to put a dent in to all that food and beer. Believe me, I think we won! We had a great time.

Jocelyn came home with Michael and I to do some house cleaning with me during the week. She and her brother help me out and make some money. They do a great job and I enjoy working with them.

Well, a hangover morning began our day, nevertheless, Joc and I set out to an appointment I had made to meet with a counselor at the local Jr. College. It was painful and worth it. We met Joanne at the W. Sac Sac City Jr. College Counseling Center. She was recommended to me by the therapist that I have been seeing since August. (The state of California footed the bill for this because of the violent assault that I was involved in last year) She was a wonderful recommendation!

DO WHAT YOU LOVE!!! Said Diane Keaton

She had all my past transcripts pulled, I have credits already! She gave me clear direction and steps to take. Signed me up for assessments to find out which math and english classes I need for general ed AND dialed me in for possible financial aid that I will most likely qualify for. She reminded both Jocelyn and I of Diane Keaton. She was bright and crisp and filled with info. She did not poo poo my idea of majoring in Art History. She actually teaches a death and dieing class that involves mask making. She spoke of art therapy and sub teaching possibilities with a degree of that kind. She was supportive in every way and said DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE! She got me so excited. She also answered questions for Jocelyn and I am so glad I went. I do not know what the future holds but she gave me hope of digging up some new part of my potential.

Joc and I have been working our asses off. I have a ton of new cleaning jobs that popped up all at the same time. And, that organizing/moving job continues. Joc and I cleaned the new coffee shop at the gallery that I use to work at, preparing it for the health inspector the following day (they passed!). We also cleaned the gallery kitchen which has probably not been deep cleaned since they moved into the building fifteen years ago. The refrigerator was a science experiment gone very very wrong. Ack! (I deep cleaned two filthy refrigerators this week! You never now what you are going to find in a biologists freezer!)

We have our usual clients but tonight included a new janitorial deal for the office building I use to work at. Including a public bathroom for a burger and beer joint on the first floor. ACK. The previous janitor had died very recently and the place had not been cleaned since. But I do not think it had been really cleaned well in general. In fact, the prop manager, a friend of mine, said as much as she toured Joc and I around the three floors of cleaning. We tackled it and I hope it may become a regular three times a week night gig.

Tomorrow, again a regular and FAVORITE cleaning client (and friend) and then a new person who needs several times a week organizing and cleaning. She sounds nice and I look forward to meeting her.

I have much to look forward to and feel enthusiastic about. Interestingly, my prop manager friend at the office building we cleaned tonite felt awkard about asking me to do this, feeling that I was far to over qualified. I appreciate her respect but on the other hand, I am happy to head over there and clean those toilets. It helps pay my bills and helps keep me in Davis. I have to tell you, I am not bent on leaving. I like it here. I like the folks that I know. It has been no small task to make a life here. I do not really have a single reason to leave. Except not being able to afford it. But then what, start all over again somewhere else?

 

• Joc and Stephen when they were on tour together in 2007
  
• Joc's friend and musician pal, Stephen Steinbrink,  is around town. He, his tour mate, Anne and my son just headed to Portland for a show but will be back this way to play with Jocelyn in Sacramento. On Sunday. I should be going to that show. A dinner plan with pals on Saturday and hopefully a quiet and kid free night on Friday. I get to watch what ever movie I want to. Yay!

Check out the song selection - oh yeah, that would be my son's solo effort. Yep. There he is!