February 10, 2010
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Blogging is on my mind but never on my list of things to do.
Very very busy with all the footwork for my mom and her stuff.
Her memorial seems organized and is set for February 17.
My brother is losing his mind and giving me troubles. Removing valuables from her home to safe keep with friends. But I discover an ad in a local classified with said items listed for sale.
He is only making things bad for himself. But such a head ache for me in the feelings department.
My mom was worried about him and made me promise to look out for him. I can only do what I can. I cannot make a normal sane person out of an angry alcoholic. That is out of my skill department. I need to contact Rumplestiltskin about getting some spinning straw into gold training.
My kids are doing well. Some one hit and run my son’s vehicle. Fortunately no one was in the car and no one was hurt. He and his room mates chased the vehicle down and got all the insurance data. What a pain in the butt. But again, no one was hurt. Wow.
My job at the cafe is becoming so hard as the owner is driving me crazy. The cafe portion seems to make him more concentrated. I may not be able to last much longer. That is too bad as I enjoy the place so much. Time will tell. (I think a person can really only handle one bat shit insane person at a time and this is over my quota)
I really want to sit down and have a good cry but do not seem to be able to find time to do it. I am running all over with appointments, paperwork, commitments and errands.
I would like to take my daughter to San Francisco at the end of the month see a play written and performed by her friend Evan. It is called “Don’t Feel: The Death of Dahmer”
Sounds pretty dark so I figure we will stay in an ocean view room for the night and get pedicures while we are there. Evan is an amazing talent. I look forward to seeing this production.
Ok, that covers it. Thank you for all the kind comments and support through this trying and exhausting time.
You are all wonderful and I love you in that strange internet neighbor way.
Comments (16)
I was wondering how things were going for you. A trip to San Francisco will work wonders. (it always did for me)
Whenever I see a person get angry I think “why is that person really angry?” If I get angry I think the same thing. It’s never about the current situation, it’s about something deeper, the past. It helps me understand what’s going on at the moment and I can forgive myself and others. (that was my deep thought of the day) 
Lines crease her forehead
hiding thoughts
“shouldisms”
ruminating behind her eyes
“cut those branches
from the hanging limbs
broken as they tried
to climb trees to fragile
for their bulk”
Facial lines soften
“I have my own to prune”
I had my car hit and run here in Arkansas. Your poor kid. My dad won’t pay for the repairs, but it doesn’t really matter, I guess. I’m trying to leave the car at empty when I leave, cos I’m immature. ha. I hope things look up for you. Love you.
@vexations - Ah, beautiful. This will help me cry like nothing else.
I’m thinking of you, Cassi. Have been, too.
What are you going to do about your brother selling your mom’s items? Are you going to try to put a stop to it?
Hang in there … you have friends, here.
J.
It’s a shame your brother can’t see getting himself straightened out to lend you a helping hand during your time of sorrow and need. But I know that you are strong, Cassi, and I know you’ll do what needs to be done soon, which I commend you for. And then hopefully you’ll have that chance for a cry and to reflect on your mom, and what she meant to all of you. Once again, you have my deepest condolences.
I hope you have a great time with your daughter in San Francisco and will enjoy Evan’s play. You’ve earned as much!
A getaway with your daughter will be just the thing. I strongly advise you to do it. Besides, once the baby is born, she might not be able to do much in the way of ‘getting away’.
Your brother needs a hugely swift kick up his ass. You can call them alcoholics. I call them drunks. Not politically correct by any means, but it’s really what it is. And drunks become a menace to everyone. Maybe he can sell everything and move very far away. Besides, how can you take care of him? He doesn’t even take care of himself, right?
Forget all the bs. Moving on,,,,,
Crazy bosses, crazy family. We have much in common it seems. I’m glad your kids are doing alright too and I hope your brother chills out.
I’ve been out of touch so my cyber hugs are a little delayed. Sounds like you have things as under control as can be expected. One day at a time and I promise that by this time next year things will be a whole lot better. You have all you can handle without attempting to take care of your brother. It can’t be done so I hope you don’t even try. (((Hugs)))
Hang in there. Really sad and frustrating about your brother…
Maybe your brother will be forced to take responsibility for his own life now that he can’t depend on Mom to carry him. If you don’t step into her shoes, this may be the best thing that ever happened to him.
I am so sorry for your loss and for the additional burden of your brother. The aggravation of the boss at the cafe is probably a good diversion from the less manageable concerns you have. I never understand business people who create stress in the work environment. Don’t they realize how counter productive it is? You have an amazing ability to focus on the positive so if anybody can work for this guy, you can. Hang on.
Sorry for the insanity, especially now. That seems to be the way families work sometimes, though. (Not very helpful, I know…)
Hang in there, dear. (((((hugs)))))
you certainly have been through the wringer. I can see the joy of a trip to San Francisco with Jocelyn! take a deep breath and keep on moving. you’re doing great!
hugs and love in that strange internet neighbor way.
Thank you for stopping by and your kind
words… I’ll be holding thoughts of you and your family close to my heart over the next few days… especially gentle prayers of peace for you as you do so much of the “heavy lifting” for your Mom’s memorial.
You are strong Cassi to deal with the mess caused by your brother and to manage the funeral , the paperwork and …the job .
You need all of our support and you have it .
Love
Michel
Wow! You have been through almost every emotion in the book in the past few weeks. I admire you and support you. You are my most favorite free spirit in the world. As for your brother I have no kind words. Be well and happy my friend.